"Let the Bells ring out for Christmas Day..."

And so the day of luxury is finally upon us. The day where everyone eats as much turkey as they can scramble and where the drink flows both freely (and liberally, i might add!).


The day where little children smile with glee, and scream for the joys that the man in the big red suit from the North has sent them.


Its the day, when family comes together to celebrate old and new traditions. Its the time of the year that family feuds are forgotten, and long lost families are reunited. The time for good cheer and good will to all.


Sitting in the house, lit up by the warm glow of Christmas tree lights and burning fires, enjoying the comical gifts of stocking presents, and admiring Aunt Gladys' choice in winter warmers. The time when family's sit with wrapping paper strewn across the floor, and watch the festive cheer shown on the BBC throughout the day. Where mother dutifully slaves away in the kitchen, casually smothering the house in an array of deliciously inviting smells. When father anxiously watches his son unwrap the model plane, then throws himself into "helping" his son put it together.


Grandfather sits in his chair drinking sherry and dozing off whilst watching the rolling news. Grandma, listens intently while her grandchildren talk her through the Harry Potter sticker book they have been given, Grandma nods, and pretends she knows exactly what a hippogriff and an elixir of life is!


The older children, sit with their head buried in their various technologically gifts, the one daughter, sits whilst her brother devours his sweets, and watching TV. This daughter, sits and blogs her annual Christmas post.


This is why i love Christmas. Presents are great, too. Don't get me wrong, but the est thing for me, is the atmosphere Christmas rings. Everyone seems merrier, more willing to have fun and laugh more. Thats the est thing. Christmas is the one time of the year that really brings a family together, and that togetherness is priceless.


MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL! 


xxxx

It's my life - so leave it alone

Have you ever felt like everyone is more interested in your life tan they are their own?


I can't tell you how much this happens to me. All the time. People find a loop hole and just slip themselves right in. Its like their lives are so boring they just can't help themselves but become nosy buggers in yours.


Fair enough, i have made some really idiot decisions over the past two weeks, but i'm just so stressed and pressured from every angle, that i just want the time to stop for a minute. I know i can't throw this away and i don't plan to. But its those snide little bitches and two faced gossipers that just won't disappear.


If i encounter them, i'd like to have the guts to say "So what! It's my life, so leave me the hell alone to live it" Its not like i need their approval, i am 3 years older than them.


So i'm just going to go back, with my head geld high, then in complete contrast to that last statement, keep my head down and just work. Hopefully, if i do that to the letter, keeping myself to myself - becoming a geek in school, then with a bit of prayer and wishful thinking a year and a half will fl by and i can leave for pastures new and university.


Cause i will get there my friends, i WILL. I know i will, somehow, somewhere. Watch this Space...

CCCCCHEKING IN....

Well i haven't blogged in what seems like forever, so i thought i'd check in and give you a little update on how things are coming.

It seems i am barely keeping my head above water in terms of all the college assignments that are being thrown upon me like there's no tomorrow! Its definitely a challenge, trying to organise all my placement work, all my college work, all my daily logs/observations/routines/activities, and actually writing my assignments, but i'm sure i'll get them done. 

Well, so far life's been awesome. I have finally got rid of some baggage that i had, and thankfully thats out of my life, and i don't have to encounter that again. But even though losing that baggage was an incredibly hard decision, i have gained something much more special, and other things have been made much more clearer to me. 

So thats a good thing.

I can't wait till Saturday 3rd December, i'm off to the O2 arena in London to go to the Jungle Bell Ball concert with my friend. Can't wait for that - haven't been to a live gig since i was like 9 and it was the Girl Guides Big Gig in Wembley Arena. Can't wait to see The Wanted, Rihanna and Olly Murs.....OhEmGee!!! :D

My brother's doing exceptionally well with his rugger at the minute, he managed to maintain his position in the saints development squad so that's good. Very proud of him!

Plus, i have just sat here and worked out that there are only 43 more days till christmas aaahhh exciting stuff, and even though ive had my christmas present early (my blackberry) i still can't wait, cause its not always about the presents, its more about the family, and the traditions you keep in your family. I hope it snows - snow makes for both great fun and great photography!

Next Friday, will be Children in Need, and usually we don't fundraise for that, not all day, but we would usually dress up and pay a pound and the refectory would sell pudsey cookies or something at the Sixth Form. But at the institute, the whole day's lessons are cancelled and we spend the whole day fundraising. I'm not being funny, but i do think that cancelling ALL lessons is a bit ridiculous. They say we are contracted to 13 hours a week of contact time, well, firday we lose 6 hours out of our contact time, because we are "fundraising" all we are doing is standing behind a cake stall selling cakes! I

Don't get me wrong, i love fundraising for charities, but you don't necessarily have to cancel everybody's lessons! 

So whats the point of coming in, i hear you ask yourself? Thats is something i asked myself when i was informed about it, but our tutor says she would be very disappointed and unhappy if we decided not to bother coming in for the day because we have no lessons. But it is completely bonkers, but hey-ho, never mind!

Well, thats it from me for a while, i'm shattered, and i can't say when i will be in next, as i dare say i will have very little social life trying to do all this damn college work and going to watch the brother train and play all his rugger etc! Hopefully it'll be before christmas day, maybe christmas eve, if i remember!

Ciao

x

Recipe for Disaster.

A Recipe for Disaster.

For this recipe you will need the following:

x1 cup of Very Stressed Sarah

x4 Manic Teachers with different techniques

x1 Very catty and bitchy childish girl

x732 days of worrying

Plus a mixture of other seasonings in the form of:

x3 helpings of wishful thinking

x1 highly stressful and overbearing mother

x1 Embarassing, yet irritating father

x1 Golden boy brother

And throw in an extra good handful or several of stress and you have....

A VERY STRESSED SARAH AND A RECIPE FOR DISASTER....

that is all.

Ciao

   x

Whirlwind Much...

Well, i'm sorry for the lack of reading material, September is always a super busy month for me. The rugby games and training are in full swing, obviously NOT me, but for my brother. 

Also school is MANIC, we're all clinging to the edge of hope that our placements will come through, luckily mine came through yesterday, so i should start Thursday, so thats good!

I turned 19, toward the end of September! I can't believe this is my last year of been a teen, i feel so old!! But then again, i bet when i'm 30, i'll be begging to feel like i was 18 again, ahaha! 

My brother will be 15, toward the end of October - can't believe that, he's grown up so fast. Why can't he magically turn back into that cute little curly haired kid, with the harry potter glasses, and a toy Orc on his shoulder! He's only got a year left at secondary school. 

I'm so proud of him, though. Despite our fights.

Now don't get me wrong, this rugby thing, is craaazy, but craaazy in a good way, 'cause its clearly something he's a dab hand at. But it does mean, that i have to put my social life in the week on hold, cause the mothership tells me its too complicated to organise me to visit or do anything on rugby days, which so far including the following days; Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesday's, the occasional Thursday's and Sunday's are obviously game days!

Sometimes, it feels like charlie's rugby "career" comes first, and i come second. 

Though, sometimes, i think thats fine because, if i had stayed on at sixth form, i'd be at uni right now, but i didn't, i failed at that, so now i'm just the invisible one, hidden behind a star.

I'm the child from the 1940's - the one whose seen but never spoken or heard of.

Oh well...

So, its nearly christmas, i might be getting a blackberry, so thats cool.

Anyway, i have to do my assignment, so this was just to check in and whatever.

Hope you all have a good rest of the week, and keep blogging.

CIAO

x

"This joint's haunted..."

I definitely think my house is haunted, in more ways then one. Firstly when everyone is out the floor upstairs creaks like someone walking on it, but no-one's up there, cause they're all at work. 


Secondly, my dreams, are getting weirder every time. Last night, i dreamt that i followed my friend who was upset out of the back of a coffee shop, onto what looked like a shingle beach with a fenced embankment. My friends hopped over the fence, so i followed. Both of them, then ran back up the embankment and back over the fence. I followed, but realized the tide was coming in abnormally fast, and both of them stood and watched, as i was stranded. Then i woke up, understandably, very disturbed, and crying, remarkably!


Thirdly, during the night last night, i went down to get a glass of water, took my phone with me. But i left my phone on the table, and went back upstairs with my glass of water. When i came down this morning, my phone was no longer on the table, so assumed someone had moved it. When i rang it, listening for its vibration, i could hear it somewhere in the kitchen. I checked EVERYWHERE for it, even in silly places, like the washing machine and the crisps cupboard!


What i did not expect to find, was after almost giving up, i tried for about the eighteenth time to find it, and heard a vibration near the freezer, i checked around it. Then i looked inside, and there it was. My phone, in the freezer, amongst the frozen peas and the frozen roast potatoes. You can imagine my bewilderment. How the HELL it got in the freezer, i don't know. Everyone in the family thinks i was "sleepwalking" and went into the freezer and left it in there by mistake.


But i have never sleep walked in my LIFE, and its not like its a hereditary thing, cause no-one in my immediate family or elsewhere, sleep walks. Its all incredibly strange and incomprehensible to understand. I know that sleepwalkers, rarely have any recollection of what they did or do during an episode, accounting for the fact that they are of course, asleep, or at least that is what their brain is telling them. Either way, i am very confused, bewildered, and ever so slightlyy freaked out about it. My phone is currently defrosting in the airing cupboard, but it doesn't appear to be working, but we'll see what happens!


See this is what i do, when things get tough, or i'm scared, or confused, bewildered, and i feel i just have to share it, just get it off my chest and out of my head, and this is where this blog, comes in very handy. Besides, its always good to throw something whacky into the mix, so that all you followers can either share the same feelings as me, or laugh and think 2what the hell is she on about!!". Anyway. it helps, kinda like an online diary, but without all the depressing stuff and the gooey, cheesy, nine year old romances and fairytale endings with princes on steads etc!


So here, is my random entry for the day, hope you enjoy reading this, and if you have any info about how my phone got in the freezer, or about sleepwalking then feel free to comment!


CiaoCiao


     x

"Oh Crikey..."

I can't believe summer is OVER! Its almost depressing. But, i am excited, if a little nervous to start college tomorrow, can definitely say, i am not looking forward to the wake up call at 5.45am!!! I barely manage to drag myself out at 7am, so that'll be interesting, if not, a battle!


Its hard to believe, that this time last year, i could have been finishing my AS/A2 levels, but i didn't because i bailed. Sometimes, when i look at all my friends about to embark on new adventures at University, i wish i hadn't left and wasted a year doing sod all, but now i can have another chance at things, and with any luck, this time in two years, i shall be preparing to go to university. That is what i most look forward to. This year, its not about making friends, and changing myself to meet the expectations of others, its about doing the thing thats right for me, walking down the right path that will eventually lead me to the place i want to be most, university. WISH ME LUCK!


Its also, around this time, especially now, because i'm embarking on a new adventure at a whole new college, that i wish with my all heart that my grandma was here, to see me do it. She probably would not have been happy about how i handled my decision to leave the Sixth form, but i do know that she would want to see me succeed and be happy, and walking into the institute for the first time, i felt a true change in the atmosphere, and i felt happy. Which is a different feeling to how i was at the sixth form.


My brother's rugby has just started, and i was abit annoyed that i've now had to cancel all my plans with someone, because he has rugby and no-one's here. This is one of the things i can think of that annoy me about his rugger commitments. The fact that my social life during the week has to be disrupted in order to accomodate his rugby. I mean, he used to moan, because he had to go to all the evening performances i had with Drama at St bens, during the week, but i haven't, up till now, moaned, or got upset about his rugby. If anything, when i'm free, i have become more involved, and do go to a couple of games and training session. I embrace it, rarely do i moan. But trying to see various friends before uni, is one thing i must moan about, as some are going far away, so i won't see them so much.


Speaking of my little brother, i think puberty is beginning to hit. He's becoming so grumpy and moody lately. Definitely turning into a teenager. Though, i can't believe, that when he goes back tomorrow, he will be in Yr 10, and will have only two years left at St Bens. That is just sooo scary!!!!!!! My little brother, will no longer be a "little brother" :(. hahaha!


Well, i have to go now, i'm in the midst of cooking dinner. Got the house to myself this evening as the brother is rugby-ing tonight in Stowmarket and won't be back till about half 9/ 10pm tonight. Bit of a random concoction for dinner. Two Bird's eye crispy chicken in some french bread with salsa! Had to improv, with what was in the fridge and freezer, haha!


CiaoCiao 
      
     x

"I'm so excited, and i just can't hide it"

Oh My God, You guys!
I am so freaking excited. Tomorrow, my cousin will be here, and i haven't seen her in like 4 years. So as you can see, i'm sooo looking forward to seeing her!! :D


Also tomorrow, is my good friend Megan's 18th birthday, after waiting for so long, she will FINALLY be legal to party!! :)
So Megan, when you read this on the 29th August: HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY MY LOVELY!! <3


GOD! This summer has just flown by. I mean it seems like only last week, we were breaking up from our various educational establishments. I enrol at Colchester Institute on Tues (30th) very excited about that. Maybe, this time, with a bit of luck, I'll make it through with no glitches and in two years time, i shall be leaving for university. Fingers crossed, eh!? 


I'm also having my hair cut wednesday, soo excited, but also quite sad to see my long locks go, but this is the longest my hair has ever been, i like it, but its soo annoying. I'm going for a sleek crop look. I found it in one of those "hair ideas2 magazines, and fell in love with it. Plus my hairdresser is excellent, and can duplicate anything you throw at her to suit your needs and you facial build! Its true, when they say, "Hairdresser's know everything!" They really do, mine always has new gossip to share, aha! We're like trendier 'Dot Cotton's' in the making, ahaha! 
Then, on thursday of this week, i'm going out on the townnn, with my other girlies, before two of them gal-avant of to university, i have picked out an uber sweet dress, i love it! :)


Who know's what i'm doing Friday, may go to the beach, but we'll see! Then on saturday, i have work. The rest of the days, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, i will be relaxing and getting my college stuff together, for i start officially at the Instiute on the 7th September, i'm so excited, but weirdly, i'm dead nervous. I say weirdly, becuase, i wasn't nervous starting at the sixth form, but maybe thats because i wasn't really looking forward to it, and i didn't like it much! 


So, as you can see, i have a busy next couple of weeks to attend with, hence i am bloggin now, before i forget. Also, because i wanted to share my excitement. Only 16 hours till Milly gets here, ahhhhhh!!!


And on that note, i shall end.
Until next time,


CiaoCiao
      x

Long time no....whatever!

Ok, so sending my sincerest apologies.
I realise i haven't blogged in ever such a long while, but this summer has been choccablock!


First and foremost, if you could possibly, follow this link to a facebook event i have created.
All you have to do is click attending, You don't have to go anywhere, by clicking attending you are showing support for those in third world countries that facing severe drought caused by Climate Change. The group is in conjunction with various CAFOD campaigns. For those of you are who don't know what CAFOD is, it stands for the Catholic Agency/Aid For Overseas Development. 
Here is a link to the CAFOD webiste:    http://www.cafod.org.uk/about-us

And here is the link to the facebook event that urgently requires your support. If we were in their situation, i'm sure it would bring us both relief and hope to know that somewhere, someone who was a complete stranger, was acting on their behalf for the world we share, thank you! :)
The facebook event, "Don't Drop the Ball" Campaign:   https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=259933164031771

Right, pledges, over with. How are all you bloggers, good?
I had a lovely-ish holiday, i mean from the photography side, the views were super, but in term of sitting around "relaxing" it wasn't great for someone whose done that for a whole you, and found it entirely dull!


I just found out today that i got in at the Institute in Colchester to study a BTEC Diploma in Children's Learning and Development, and then in two years, i will hopefully be off to uni. At the minute i have compiled a list of uni favourites, my top 4 are: York, St Marys (Twickenham), Canterbury Christ and Southampton. But who knows, they may change in two years! ;)


I'm soooo nervous for my little brother, he's getting his first EVER  GCSE results tomorrow, he took two exams early. I hope he does well! I can't believe he's going to be Year 10 when he goes back, thats sooo scary! :P


Well thats it from me, i shall blog you when i can, though its going to be pretty busy from here on! but i'll squeeze you guys in somewhere, thats a golden promise, ahaha! :)


PLEASE GO CHECK OUT THE FACEBOOK EVENT, PLEEAAASSSEEEE!!!!!! :D


CiaoCiao baby's! x

Sometimes change is good.

Sometimes change can be a good thing.

Coming from a girl who reacts to change with apprehension and cautiousness, this statement contradicts all of those reactions, yet i'm the one saying it. Strange, huh?!?

But in this very instance, right at this moment in my life, change is good.

I recently had some absolutely fantastic news, I got into the college i applied to in January, to do the course i want to. Maybe now i can finally be happy, and get my life back together, and make my family proud of me again. 

Two days ago, my mum and dad let me use some of the money my deceased grandad saved for me in my trust fund to be a laptop - complete with all the toys and whistle of your purple Dell inspiron! Which they both assured me, Grampa wouldn't think was a waste, he would find it completely reasonable.

Another reason i love life right now, is that i am spending more time with some friends, and i have come to the realisation that all you need in life is a few close friends and about a handful of best friends and you're all set for life, and thats what i have. So i'm lucky in retrospect.

I feel awfully scared, and sorry for the people in London and on the outskirts, because of that silly, and POINTLESS rioting, i mean, now its escalated and so out of control, it has lost all "meaning" it ever had. Not that it had much meaning or reason to begin with. People are going to get hurt, at what point does it have to go until it is stopped, do we have to wait for a child to die, or something? They are REAL men out there fighting to PROTECT this country that you are so happily destroying, for goodness sake, get over yourselves, go out  and find a job, do something else for fun. Looking for work for anybody is hard at the moment, but try volunteering in charity shops, it looks good on your CV and gives you customer experience many places look for in people they hire!?

I went to Yorkshire, last week. It was an alright holiday, though there was ABSOLUTELY no point me being there, if my family ignored me for the whole week!? But the change of scenery was absolutely worth being ignored, i was definitely happy snapping away and catching some stunning views on the camera, i will load all the pictures on here, very soon! ;)

I even paid a visit to "The Golden Fleece" which for all you Most Haunted fans, was where the filmed in series 6, episode 5, i think!? I'm open minded towards the paranormal activities of ghostly beings, my family, things its all rubbish, sometimes, when i watch most haunted, i think the same, but sometimes, totally inexplicable things happen, and yeah, i'm just open minded! 

So thats my life right now, its a pretty boring blog update, but if nothing else, its just something to read with your cup of tea, and a digestive biscuit! ENJOY!

CiaoCiao 

        x

Life's a complicated thing...

Heyyyyyaaaaa.

So... what are all you bloggers up to this weekend?

Last night was fuuunnnn, went out with two of my bestest dolls,

had a total blast, but there's a downer.

I am a total facebook junkie (sad, i know).

I really wanna start using it less, cause its not always a good thing.

unless you are keeping up with extended family and long-lost friends.

So, last night, i was updating my rather drunk status' with even more drunken status'.

i don't understand, how its ok, for everyone else to get drunk, and for them to share their drunken stupor on facebook, but when i do it. Everyone has a problem with it, and sees me as a someone who gets drunk all the time.

Why am i the one, who is ostrich-sized  or singled out because of my drunken stupor.

Its just ridiculous, i feel like i'm the kid who always has to prove to others that she's something she's not.

I have changed my personality sooo much, i thought i was finally through, with changing myself to make others happy, or proud, or seek their approval.

Clearly not.

I think its time for some time away from facebook - to figure out who i am, again.

Back to square one, once again - OH THE JOYS!!

CRAP BOLOGNA...

3 words to sum life up right now in one minute, easy?....

UBER SHITTY NEWS!!!!!!! :(

Its a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD, world after all!!

 

View Full Album

"Act your age, not your shoe size mamma...."

Righto, terribly sorry for the lateness of this update. 

Things have been a little complicated of late.

Had an issue with a friend, who can't seem to stop 

advertising her personal life, which is a thing that

not many should know about. But she insists

on telling everyone like its something that the

media need to get hold of.

But, I've dealt with that, and she's no longer part 

of my little "happiness-life-bubble", as i call it!

Thank fudge for that. I guess she knew i was peeved

at her, but she had a go at me, i was like, WTAF!

At the end of the day, i just had to laugh at all

the stuff she said, cause it was funny how

she was acting like she was the innocent party!

Unfortunately, this post will have little structure, as i have been 

away longer than planned, so this is, as i said, an update on things.

I heard back from that job, i was applying for, sadly someone came

along who they thought had a bit more experienced and was better

suited. BUT, in a good way, i was second to her, so if she were to

muck up her months trial that she's on, they will call me back. Its 

unlikely she'll want to muck it up as job are so hard to come by

nowadays, thanks to the economic market.

I have lots of events and things coming up this week, weekend etc.

Spending the day with my McBean today, Town Thursday and Thursday night.

My friends 18th Party on Saturday - Oscars themed! Exciting stuff.

Then of course in about 3 weeks, it'll be time for our family holiday - off to Yorkshire.

Staying in a little village called Pickering, apparently visiting Whitby beach,

So if any of you fellow bloggers have been to Whitby, let me know what its like!

I'll try and blog again sometime, next week, but don't hold your breath, because I'm sure once my family break up from school, they will have days out planned.

In which the whole family MUST participate in, my dad's such a joker sometimes!

Ciao, for now, folks!

x

SORRY....

SORRY I HAVEN'T BLOGGED IN A WHILE!

I WILL BLOG Y'ALL ON FRIDAY WHEN I 

HAVE THE CHANCE OR NEXT MONDAY 

AT THE LATEST!

LOVE 

x

I wish life had a 'skip' button..

Sometimes, i wish that life came with a) instructions and b) a remote.

The remote would come in dead handy for when skipping things you don't really want to do.

I don't mean idiotic things like exams, cause yeah, they stress you out majorly, but you kinda need them for your future and all.

But i mean you could use to skip, or pause things that you don't want to see happen.

Like Earthquakes, Tsunami's, gang wars, Territorial wars, even death of a loved one.

Thats what i could really use a remote for now, death of a loved one.

I haven't attended a funeral of someone majorly close to me sing 2006.

I know i have to be strong, not only for myself, as i'm reading, but also for the wife, son and daughter, of the deceased.

Its going to be one of the hardest days of my life, Friday 24th June.

And i'm not looking forward to it.

But he was a great, intellectual, intelligent, caring man. A true Gentleman. 

And that is the way he will always stay.

Love, Always!

x

The Waiting Game....

I really hate playing the waiting game. I'm really not the most patient of people.

Waiting is so boring.

There's a limit to how many times you can look at a TV screen, or potter around the garden making useless changes that no-one's gonna see.

Finding something to do when you have the house to yourself, can have the effect of inducing the risk of insanity. 

I'm bored sitting here, waiting.

Sitting here waiting for my mobile to avidly starting vibrating happily away. Letting me know someone is calling me. The person i want, i need, to call.

I am awaiting to here from a possible job prospect - before you all get over-excited and think i'm waiting for a secret lover - No such luck there, i'm afraid.

They were supposed to get back to me last week, but the woman who interviewed me had some family emergency, so i had to stick it out for another week. The word PAIN springs to mind.

Waiting here, sucks.

I really want them to call, i really want this job, and yes i need the money as does every other young person between the ages of 16-19, but i also want this job, because i found one i might actually really enjoy and love doing. And those jobs don't come around often!

WISH ME LUCK!!!!

Magic a Myth? Or Magic and Illusion?

Ok, so I was just watching The Sorcerers Apprentice, the one with Nicolas Cage in? And you know the bit where Horvath meets that Drake stone guy? Well, that got me thinking....


Is magic a myth? Illusion? or a Truth?


Is what Darren Brown does an illusion? Trick of the mind? or Real?


I don't know whether to believe in it or not. I'd like to, but at the same time, it does seem a little far fetched. A nice idea though!?!


You know, you lot are gonna have to help me out here, is it real of not? Personally, the more I watch Darren Brown, the more i think, it has to be a trick of the mind, or an illusion, but then sometimes i sit and wonder, if it really is REAL?


Tell me what you think, add a comment saying what you think magic is?


(Also sorry, i haven't blogged in a while, things have been a little craaazy down here! You guys know what life is like, right?!?)

Today's a slow day...

Today's a slow day because......

Today's a slow day, because its grey out,

Today's a slow day, 'cause today, were all full of doubt.

The day is long today, sad news changes things,

We remember you, every time that bell rings.

Today's a sad day because.....

Today's a sad day because, someone is missing,

Although, somewhere I hope you're still a-listening?

The day is sad today, there's nothing to say,

I wish you didn't go, I wish you could stay.

Today's a long day because.....

Today's a long day because, we don't where to go,

Stuck in the time's of the day, stuck in a state of limbo.

The days hard today, no-one knows what do,

What to say, its like suffering from terrible flu.

Today's a new day because.....

Today's a new day because, we learn to carry on,

We know its hard, but know it has to be done.

Today a new life begins, for we know when the time does arrive,

We can find the strength to say goodbye, you will see.

That we will all survive.

(For Phil Larchet, Always with us. 9th June 2011)

A different headspace.

I think, following the sad passing of my dear friend and neighbour Phil.

Everyone's head is in a very weird head space.

None of us know, what to say, or do.

None of us know what to think.

Whether to sleep, or occupy ourselves.

The weird thing, is that tomorrow. We're expected to go about things as normal.

But every time, I look at the front door and across the road.

All can think about, is who won't be there any more.

How can "life" throw things at us everyday, and expect us to pick ourselves up and just continue.

I feel like i want press pause on life's remote, and just wait here for awhile, let it all soak in.

Have you ever had a similar feeling?

Like you want to live in limbo, while you figure out what you're supposed to do next.

Well, join the crew, this is where me, and my metaphorical elephants are right now.

We'll be here awhile i suspect, so if you wanna pay us a visit, feel free.

The more the merrier I guess.

Not for too long though, we need to carry on, but just for a little?

When life turns from the track...

Remember yesterday when i spoke about metaphorical elephants.

Well mine, has now continued down the path, the inevitable path that one day we all take.

I had hoped the elephant would linger, even just till this evening, but it seems that the elephant had vacated its spot earlier this morning. I wasn't expecting, yet.

I was thinking about this earlier. Its a rather depressing fact, well actually, its not if you think about it the happier way.

I was thinking about how weird it is that, technically, how we "all live to die".

Its like from birth, we are given the chance to live our lives a million colourful ways, and in doing so, we are leaving behind colourful footprints of ourselves. 

If you choose not to live your life, then it is your choice. But even in the darkest of times, there is always a light that can be found, shining through. You just have to find the courage within yourself to search for it, grasp it, and follow it.

I'm going to take my light, from this momentary dark spot, grasp it, and follow down a path. This path, will slowly mend the hole that has been left in our hearts, and slowly but surely, we will recreate those colourful footprints, that our Phil made. We will walk along side them, and create new ones.

Rest In Peace Phil. I shall never forget you.

My love, ALWAYS.

x

"When the shit hits the fan.... Get a tent."

No matter which way you turn, life always has a sneaky way of  coming up and throwing a huge elephant in the way. Life then says, you can either, stand and let the elephant do its thing, or you can make the first move and negotiate your way around it.

Sometimes, this elephant can be an evil little bugger. I have an elephant in my life right now. Metaphorically, of course. Going round this metaphorical elephant is easier said then done. With my elephant, there is no easy route. All pathways out, are the same. Except one. This one involves a happier ending tinged with sadness.

And, although i wish i could find a better path for all concerned, the route i have to take is inevitable. But i can't help feeling guilty, because whilst i'm escaping the elephant, my neighbours are running straight into it. You see the elephant in question, is death. My neighbours, have no option but to face this elephant head on, and while i'm attending interviews, hoping to land this job. Everyday i'm out of my house i feel guilty, because it means that my neighbour has no one to turn to if something should happen sooner rather than later.

I hate metaphorical elephants. Have you had a situation like this before, where you are conflicted about whether its right for you to feel guilty? Let me know, i need help here people?!

xxxx 

Something to help, maybe?

Sarah's rules for life:

1. Always expect the unexpected.
2. Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.
3. Friends first, lovers later.
4. Trust no-one.
5. Family first, career second (on the basis of near death).
6. Life's a bitch, ride her out to the end.
7. Live life your way - you won't get another one.
8. Practice makes perfect.
9. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve, it'll break too easily.
10. Don't cry in front of people, it does nothing but create a domino effect.
11. Never judge a book by it's cover.
12. Friends come and go, but family stays forever.
13. Never cry over someone who wouldn't cry over you.
14. A little selfishness is good, sometimes.
15. No means no.
16. Do not believe in fantasy for too long, the reality is quite different.
17. Do not take life too seriously, or, you'll never get alive.
18. Revenge is sweet, but rarely neccessary (see rule #13).
19. Don't ever give your heart fully to someone, unless you trust them not too break it.
20. Wishes rarely come true, ambitions do, if you have the drive to succeed.
21. When you fall, get back on your horse and continue on your journey.
22. Always believe in yourself, even when proven wrong.
23. A person's a person no matter how small.
24. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says I'm possible.
25. All bad apples have an equally rotten core.
26. Misery loves company.
27. Well behaved women, rarely make history.
28. Never let your guard down, the moment you do, people will walk all over you.
29. Don't worry, be happy.
30. Reach for the stars, if you miss, at least you'll land on the moon.
31. Sometimes, the best things are left unsaid.
32. Sometimes the hardest thing is the right to do.
33. Always speak the truth with confidence and decision.
34. Embrace diversity, adversity and equality.
35. Make mistakes, but learn from them.
36. Everyone need to be selfish, sometimes, to ensure their goals are achieved.
37. If at first you don't succeed, try and try again.
38. If one door closes, another is bound to open a window of opportunity - take it.
39. Do not take everyone at face value.
40. Be open minded, lead 100 colourful lives, and in turn, make other's lives equally colourful too.
41. There is always light, even when everything is dark.
42. Never give up fighting for those you love.
43. Death is a part of life, it does not spell the end. Just the beginning of a new adventure.
44. Courage is the absence of fear.
45. Be a light for others, when all lights are out.
46. There are, on average, 34920000 minutes in a lifetime. Cherish them all, but take a minute of you time to praise someone. That one minute could change their life.
47. Never be afraid to ask for help.
48. If you ever feel alone, don't. There are 6 billion people in the world and at least 10 of them will always be there for you.
49. Mother's know best - as fortunate of unfortunate as that may be.
50. Lead 100 colourful lives ~ positivity and happiness are the key to success. ♥