So right now i'm at a turning point in my life, where i can choose which way to go; Left or Right? And to tell you the truth i honestly don't know.
I just feel like i have generally lost who i am, like i don't kniow who i really am anymore. I don't feel like my usual self and i don't know why. Maybe i've watched to many reality TV programmes and dosed myself up on the life of a guidette in Jersey Shore. Who knows!
All i know is that, regardless of how cheesy and cliche this may seem, i need to do a journey of discovery. I need to distance myself from all the craziness and just have some timeout so i can focus on whats really important and re-discover myself.
So much has happened to me, and i just hate the feeling that i'm throwing it all away, i can't affod to do this, not this time around. My life goal is right in fornt of me, and i just need to get my head screwed on, my priorities straight and realise what needs to be done and get it done, remebering that this isn't the 7th grade anymore, and that my friends will still be there, whatever i decide to do. I just need to have the guts to get it done.
I don't want to be the one who sits on the sidelines while her friends go off and party and accomplish their dreams at university. Thats nt who i want to be, i have a dream (cue matin Luther) and i will achieve this dream, and if that involves sticking my head down and becoming a social reject for a year, than thats what has to be done, and i shouldn't be afraid to do that. At the end of the day, those friends who mean something will be there, and the ones that don't will go. Hakuna Matata, y'know.
I just hope, someone out there hears this, or reads it actually, and hears and understands what i'm saying. Cause i'm sure they have been many others before me, who are still stuck, or have been stuck in the same position.
Ciao for now, i'm off to discover me, again!
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