If Peter Reeves, the cop killer, didn't die accidentally. Then who murdered the murderer?

Sometimes, my ability to create captivating titles often amuses me. I often feel like i may be choosing the wrong profession. Maybe i chose teaching because i felt close to my grandma, and some way, my mum.

Though, at present, my life seems to be simply going down the drain. In the title words of the famous Katy Perry song, i am simply "Circling the drain". I am currently right where i started, with no job an no education. Brilliant life for a aspiring 20 year old, who has brains in her head, but yet they seem to be failing her. I know, its sad. But what to do?

I am trying, i really am. But the more time i spend on my own, the more time i spend questioning; "What am i ACTUALLY doing with my life!?" 

And the answer: "I haven't the foggiest!" 

I used to dream that i'd be famous, as every little girl does, once in her childhood. Then when that fantasy dissolved, i would envision myself becoming the next best female columnist.

I actually, am now, sitting here contemplating redirecting my whole future. Maybe going into the property market or real estate, hardly the right timing what with it being a recession and all and property levels down. 

Or maybe, taking up a writing course, or going down the journalism track. But then, the usual self doubts kick in, and i wonder do i really have what it takes to be the risk taker. Do i really have the courage to change my life, redirect my future, at such a late stage in my life?

Then, i have to remember, that life is all about taking risks, and if you avoid taking risks all your life, than you find yourself not living, but merely just existing. And that is no life. To just exist. I'd rather die, knowing that i took the risk, than knowing i avoided it and circled the inevitable for the rest of my life.

To quote Bilbo Baggins from The Lord of the Rings; 

"Its a dangerous business, going out your door. You step onto the road and if you don't keep your feet, there's no telling where you might be swept off to...."

To simplify, this quote suggests that each time we walk out of the door, we are immediately faced with the danger of expectation and the offering of a new adventure, and if don't watch ourselves, and guide ourselves, with or without a few risks along the way, there's no knowing where each of us might end up. Its a dangerous road, full of little and big twists, but its a journey. Its our journey. We make choices, we make decisions. We enjoy the ride, and we get taken for a ride. But thats life..... 

Its our life.....

Its my journey.

Ciao

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